SEXUAL INHIBITIONS AND CONFLICTS. INHIBITED SEXUAL DESIRE AND SEXUAL AVERSION

We live in a culture that has been fearful and repressive about sexuality for thousands of years. Because of its emphasis on the dangers of sex and sexuality, we may feel many inhibitions that clash with our sex drives. The clash between sex drive and inhibition is called sexual conflict. It can interfere with our self-esteem, our sexual pleasure, and our sexual relationships.

We are in conflict with ourselves whenever our sexual impulses and desires don’t match what we feel is okay according to our family values and social norms. For example, we may not know its okay to enjoy sex as older adults. We are much more likely to believe that sex is for the young and beautiful. If we accept this common myth, we may inhibit our natural sexual impulses as older adults. This sexual conflict can cause us to become less happy with our lives. Sexual conflicts within ourselves about what is okay and what is not okay can occur at any age.

The sexual conflicts most people feel are somewhere in between sexual discomfort and sexual dysfunction. But even the discomforts caused by these conflicts can have an enormous impact on our sex lives. The following are some of the common sexual dysfunctions that may be caused by negative feelings about sex or by other people’s feelings about sex. Although we may not have these dysfunctions, understanding them may help us understand some of the discomforts that we do have.

Inhibited sexual desire

An uninhibited, positive appreciation of various erotic and sexual behaviors is called erotophilia, which means “liking the erotic.” Fear and anxiety about the erotic is called erotophobia. Most of us are somewhere in between.

Many people, however, feel such fear and anxiety that they seem to turn off their sex drives. They lose interest in sex. They don’t seek opportunities for sex, and they don’t take advantage of opportunities that they have. This is called inhibited sexual desire or hypoactive sexual desire.

Fear of sex is one of the major causes of inhibited sexual desire, but it is not the only cause. Other causes include depression, anger with a sex partner, divorce and other losses, stress, illness, and difficulty accepting one’s sexual orientation. No matter the cause, inhibited sexual de is considered a sexual dysfunction. Like other sexual dysfunctions, it can be diagnosed and treated with professional counseling that includes psychotherapy and sex therapy. This combined therapy is called psychosexual therapy. Anti-anxiety medications may be helpful in some cases.

Sexual Aversion

Some people feel such fear and anxiety about sex that the very idea of having sexual contact is repelling. They will avoid sex and certain kinds of sexual contact, even though their sexual desire may be uninhibited. They can be repelled by any kind of touch. Their disgust can make them ill. Their fear of sexual contact can sometimes cause sweating, nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea. The fear of sexual contact is called sexual aversion disorder. People with sexual aversion disorder may be able to enjoy certain sex acts, on certain occasions, and under certain circumstances.

Sexual aversion disorder can be caused by sexually fearful or repressive parenting, sexual abuse, pressure from sex partners, or gender identity problems. Problems with self-esteem and body image can open us up to developing sexual aversion. Psychosexual therapy may be very beneficial for women and men who have sexual aversion disorder.

Although most of us do not have a sexual aversion disorder, many of us may have anxieties and inhibitions that make sexual contact less pleasurable for us than it might be.

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