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YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/GETTING FIXED UP SEXUALLY: THE EDU-SIG
I ask couples to get books, videotapes, audiotapes, and other materials they find interesting regarding sexuality. Some couples find carefully selected and mutually acceptable X-rated videotapes arousing and educational. Some find them degrading and dumb. It is a matter of personal and marital choice, but now is the time to experiment and learn. Try some old romantic films or comedies, whatever seems interesting to both of you.
Most of the couples invested in a video-cassette player and often watched comedy tapes together. Laughing can be one of the most powerful of aphrodisiacs. There would be much less suffering in marriage if we made more time for laughter and fun. Have you ever noticed the happy looks and laughter from people who are helping others? Have you seen the laughter and joy in the entertainers who gather for a charity event? Giving and sharing seem to be very healthy emotions, and they almost always result in hugging and holding. Again, we do tend to feel as we behave, so learn to laugh. Whatever type of tape you watch, discuss it and learn together.
‘ ‘We watch those tapes, and I think they stink. But we talk about them. I saw a few things to try, too,” said one wife.
“I used to sneak to watch the X tapes. I love to share them with her. We have learned to be real selective. They mostly stink. When we get a good one, one with something we both like, then we get turned on.” This husband was the initiator of the tape-viewing, but his wife added, “As long as you want to read those romantic novels with me and watch the old film classics, watch the romances, then I’ll watch the junk with you. We can learn from anything, I guess.”
Interest in sex is maintained only by thinking, reading, and talking about sex. If you speak only of work, school, problems, and bills, then sex will gradually leave the marital agenda.
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